The Intensity

The Intensity by JOPEN, claims to do many things. “After using Intensity, you will notice that all of your orgasms (both solo and with a partner) are more frequent and more intense.  This is because the internal stimulation strengthens your vaginal muscles and research has proven that stronger vaginal muscles result in more powerful and longer orgasms.”

For starters, It has not been proven that the internal stimulation strengthens your vaginal muscles. This claim bothered me a little because I love research but the truth is that this is a sex toy – so why do they need to prove anything? It really is just for pleasure. The device is actually called an “adult novelty product” and retails for $170. That price point is actually a little high for a vibrator, though my guess is that it is more costly because of the stimulation contacts.

Secondly, there is very little research to prove that stronger pelvic floor muscles actually improve your orgasms. Stronger pelvic floor muscles improve your vaginal health and can help with incontinence but claims that they improve your sexuality have yet to be substantiated.

Intensity was created by two doctors, Ryan Brown Cassaday and Jessica Cassaday. They are relationship experts and they have written a book called, “Stop Wondering if You’ll Ever Meet Him: A Revolutionary Approach for Putting the Date back into Dating”. Though that certainly qualifies them to talk about the importance of vibrators in a relationship, I do not think it qualifies them to make claims about the anatomical and biological benefits of the device.

Because I am in the business of reviewing vibrators I like to give everything a fair shot and I applaud innovation, but I would say the jury is still out on this one. The results were split, some liked it and some did not. The person who liked it she said she would have liked it even more if it was really improving her pelvic floor. The one who did not like it said she found the electro-stimulation an unpleasant feeling.

The company that makes the Intensity is now working on a new device created solely for pelvic floor strength and to treat incontinence. They are still awaiting FDA approval but the device and the preliminary research looks good.  If that device gets approved I would certainly give it a try and possibly recommend that, because I do believe all women need to have pelvic floor strength and this may be a good way to get it.

 

Vibrating Ben Wah Balls

A vibrator can literally be anything that vibrates. I have had women explain that they have used everything from a vibrating tooth brush to a  washing machine to turn themselves on. So in my pursuit for good quality vibrators, I will explore any option. So why not vibrating ben wah balls?

Ben wah balls have been used for centuries to strengthen women’s kegel muscles, and provide subtle stimulation to the wearer (or even stimulation for a man) during intercourse. So it might follow that vibrating ben wah balls would increase all that for a woman and a man.

Unfortunately, that is not true! Vibrating ben wah balls have a weak vibration, and vibration in the vaginal canal provides little added stimulation or pleasure for a man or a woman. Sometimes a seemingly good idea should remain just that….an idea.

Vibrators

“More than half of 2,056 women, aged 18 to 60, used a vibrator either during masturbation or intercourse”, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, Bloomington, who led the survey.

If more than half of all women use vibrators, why is there still such a stigma around using them or talking openly about using them?  I frequently see women who have difficulty having orgasms, and yet when I suggest a vibrator they resist exploring them. Many women, particularly as they age, need increased stimulation, and vibrators are an excellent way to get it.

In my practice we often ask women to go into a medical office, cover the vibrators with condoms and try a few.  We find that this is the best way for women to discover what kind of vibrator feels good.  They are generally surprised by what they like. When I show women a selection of vibrators from a small pink bullet to a large Hitachi Magic Wand, most women will opt for the small pink bullet, because visually it is appealing and unassuming. However, 9 out of 10 women after trying a selection of vibrators ranging in size from small to large and weak to strong, opt for large and strong! That’s just the way it is. You can’t judge a book by its cover, as they say, and you certainly can’t judge a vibrator without trying it.

Intimina by Lelo

I first came across a Lelo vibrator years ago when a friend of mine owned a store selling housewares, lingerie and sex toys! They seemed really lovely and expensive at that time, and still do. Now that I review vibrators professionally for patients, I have a different view of what a woman should spend on vibrators. I think you can get a strong and effective vibrator for much less money than most Lelo’s cost. However, if you want a high end vibrator that looks beautiful, Lelo is the way to go. And now, Lelo has just introduced a more economical line of vibrators called Intimina.

They created a whole line of products, including: kegel exercisers of varying weights to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, feminine moisturizer and vibrator cleaner as well as three vibrators of various sizes. I really like that Lelo is trying to mainstream these products. It is pretty affordable at $180. retail considering all that it includes.

These three vibrators all look and feel great but they may be too weak for many women. The largest and most expensive of the three is  a nice shape which can be used internally and externally. It retails for $49.95. This is definitely priced with in  the mid range for vibrators that I recommend to patients. The only down side to buying three in a set is that they are all the same intensity and are all battery operated. So if a woman needed (or wanted) a stronger vibrator this set would not be for her. However, the pieces can also be bought separately so that problem can be avoided.

Vibrators are like shoes, you really have to try them all on to know what is best for you. Lelo has put an interesting idea into the marketplace, but you will have to try it for yourself to see if it works for you. They are now sold at cvs.com and drugstore.com,  so it should be pretty easy to make that happen. If you want to try one to see what you think, I recommend starting with the Celesse, though it is the most expensive. And if you like the idea of buying a set, I think Intimina is a great way to go.

Glass Vibrators

I thought glass vibrators would be fabulous because they can be sterilized. They can be thrown in to the dish washer. They can be heated up or cooled down. They can adjust quickly to your body temperature. And oddly enough they are more beautiful than most regular vibrators. However they also suck!

In my quest to explore all vibrators on the market, I looked into quite a few glass ones.

First, I ordered a long cylindrical  shaped one with a vibrating bullet that slid into the base. Though it was lovely to look at, the two parts fit together poorly and the vibration was weak and in the wrong places. I ordered another called a “juicer” which does in fact look like a juicer but does not vibrate and is supposed to be rotated inside the vagina which provides no sexual stimulation at all. The third glass vibrator I considered was narrow and long in shape, with a plastic vibrating center encased in a glass sleeve. This was the best of the three but still ineffective.

If you have an aversion to plastic or silicone  vibrators you can certainly try a glass vibrator. I think they are a good option for someone looking to avoid plastics, but to date I have not found one I can honestly endorse.

The Juicer

Don’t let the name is dissuade you. Though many of  us have no sexual connotations when we think of a juicer, you just might after you try this dildo. Or you may not!  The juicer is a glass dildo. “The Clear Nubby Melon Crank from Don Wands is the most inexpensive juicer dildo availlable . They’re called juicers because the head is sculpted to look like a fruit juicer and they’re designed to be turned in a circular motion using the handle.  The shaft attaches to a round plate, which then attaches to the handle. The plate has the same type of bumps around its perimeter, which are designed to stimulate the clitoris while its being twisted.”  I am not exactly sure who would prefer this to a vibrator, but I bet there are women who do. Sex is utterly subjective and idiosyncratic. So if you are looking for something new, give it a try.

 

There are many benefits to using a glass sex toy. They  are dishwasher safe and can therefore be sterilized.  They can be great for anyone with a latex or silicone allergy. Glass sex toys can also generally be heated or cooled based on your preference.

Turn Your Man Into a Bunny? I Don’t Think So!

The Rabbit Penis Ring made by California Exotics  is made of a super soft stretchy  silicone. It is a pink rabbit shaped cock ring. “A small vibrating bullet slides into the bunny’s face, so the ears and nose vibrate with a gentle flutter. There are no wires, so you can stay super close to your partner. Even better, the Virtual Bunny, as it is known, is whisper quiet.  The science behind the Rabbit Cock Ring: The stretchy ring is placed around the base of his erect penis. This applies slight pressure to restrict blood flow out of the penis, allowing it to inflate more fully. The result is a stronger, fuller erection. The vibrating portion of the ring turns him into a vibrator. During intercourse, the bullet portion of the ring can be positioned to provide incredible clitoral stimulation. “ This what they claim about this vibrator on their web site and it is not true.

This is no Rabbit vibrator! Any time clitoral stimulation is dependent on thrusting it is basically a nightmare.   In my quest to help women with their orgasms during intercourse, I have tested many of these rings or I should say my incredibly sweet and helpful boyfriend has tried many of them. I feel they are primarily ineffective in helping women achieve orgasm during intercourse. Most women need constant stimulation. In most female vibrators, even if the vibrator pulses the contact with the clitoris is uninterrupted. Most women need that kind of direct contact which a cock ring cannot provide.  If you really want an orgasm during intercourse try the We Vibe. It is a u shaped vibrator that has 2 parts. One part goes into the vagina with your partner’s penis and the other goes on the clitoris.  Because of the way it is shaped it can provide constant stimulation which should do the job!

Variety is the Spice of Life!

I often hear women and men complain that they are bored in the bedroom. They love their partners, the have sex, they have orgasms and yet..they are bored, bored, bored! You know what I am going to say? Try a vibrator! Actually what I am really going to say is try a few..all in the same night!  I know it may sound crazy but it can be fun and it certainly changes things up. Human beings are generally creatures of habit but what really tends to turn us all on is newness and variety.  Most people fondly remember the first few months with their partner as being particularly hot. Or maybe a one night stand or possibly an early somewhat risky experience.  The unknown can definitely increase your desire and make things more fun and exciting.

If you are someone who has many vibrators, try a few all in one night.  Maybe your proclivity for one has changed. Maybe your body has changed. Maybe your partner’s way of using it on you can change. And if you are someone who doesn’t have many, order a few new ones. Vibrators come in all shapes sizes and price points. There are several that are fun and inexpensive. The companies I would recommend for good, clean and cheap fun are Trojan, Natural Contours and California Exotics. They all carry bullet vibrators for under 25 dollars. So have a cheap date and have fun!

My Closet is X-rated!!

Not only do I love my job because I get to help people, but I also get to constantly explore and test out anything that has to do with increasing one’s sexual pleasure. It recently occurred to me that my closet is x-rated and that when my child goes looking for something in my room it might be better if he didn’t! I realize that most people may not have the time, energy or resources to spice up their sex life, so I wanted to write about the things that you can do for very little money and very little time that might make having sex a lot more fun, and that happen to be in my closet as I write this!

Massage candles are candles that burn at a cooler temperature and then turn into a massage oil. You might wonder,  “who has time for that?”, but it doesn’t need to be an all-night activity. They burn quickly and  smell good.  A  few minutes of massage with something that is warm and feels great might change your whole night, and when you are having fun and experiencing  pleasure it stays with you the next day.

Vibrators come in so many shapes, styles, sizes and intensities. If you are someone who has never used one you should try it and if you are someone who uses one regularly, try a new one.  I write about them often because for many women they are a necessity. There are also several that can be used during intercourse so if a woman or a man feels that a vibrator will be replacing them, don’t fret; try one that can be used together.

Lubricants can also open up a whole new world. Some women need one all the time, some never do. Much like vibrators there are so many different kinds to try. There are lubricants that are:  water based,  silicone based, organic, warming  and edible. Even if you are someone who has never used one, you can try a few to add something new.

Esther Perel in her book “Mating in Captivity”, poses that comfort and security can kill your sex life. I am from an attachment theory background so I do not necessarily agree. But I do think that people need variety to feel excited and alive, so try something new, you will be glad you did!

Lelo Love

If vibrators were rated on aesthetics alone, the brand Lelo would certainly win the award. The company makes a wide range of products from a tiny bullet to something similar to a rabbit.

My favorite looks like a very fancy silver and pink doughnut or perfume bottle. I had previously wondered if the Lelo products were really a case of form over function but this one called the Alia really delivers on both fronts, aesthetic and functional. It is actually a beautiful object, and as with all Lelo products, the packaging is stunning. Every vibrator comes in a sleek black box with a satin bag and lubricant included. This particular one is both waterproof and rechargeable. But head’s up – it is pricey. It goes for $119 on the Lelo web site. You may be able to find it for less but I actually think this one is worth it.  It may not be your bed side table standard but it should or could be that special gift for yourself or someone else you love!