Vibrating Panties

If the words “vibrating panties” conjure scenes in your head like the one of Catherine Heigl  in the movie “The Ugly Truth”, you might be extremely disappointed. I looked at few and though some are better than others none of them really deliver an amazing sexual experience.  Of course sex in real life  is generally different than sex in the movies.  My goal is for people to be having the best experience possible.

The vibrating panties  with the best reviews are from Dr. Laura Berman’s website. The  panties themselves are quite cute. They are made of  a soft black lace and could pass for regular underwear.  However, the mechanism is a real disaster. It sits inside a  pocket in the crotch of panties and because it is placed within the existing seams it sits near the opening of the vagina rather than on the clitoris.  The motor, though battery operated and remote, is extremely weak.

A better option is made by California Exotic Novelties.  The thong looks like something out of the Pulp Fiction S&M scene. Though they look rubbery and unattractive, the fit and feel is not completely uncomfortable. The motor is situated in the right spot and for most women it will provide clitoral stimulation.  The mechanism does not create a strong vibration but for women who don’t need a lot of intensity, this should work. These undies might actually give someone an orgasm.

If the biggest part of the turn on is someone else controlling the experience for you, another option is   a vibrator that is made by Hustler and comes in various shapes (like a butterfly) and sizes, can be worn or held and is controlled by a remote. It is a much larger vibrator than the other two mentioned. It is advertised as wearable under clothing but I am not so sure that would be a particularly comfortable  thing to do. However, the stimulation is more intense and the experience might be more satisfying for someone who likes a stronger vibrator.

Real sex is better than movie sex, because it can be exactly as you want to be. So try new things and see what happens.

The Necessity for Vibrators

“Empirical studies have shown that women are not slower than men to become aroused and satisfied and that their orgasmic potential is much greater than that of males. In Kinsey’s sample, 45 percent of female masturbators reached orgasm in less than three minutes. Carole Tavris and Carole Wade pointed out in 1984 that ‘during masturbation, especially with an electric vibrator, some women can have as many as many as 50 consecutive orgasms.”-The Technology of Orgasms, Rachel Maines, 1999.

These statistics are certainly not widely known. Myths continue to exist that men are inherently more sexual, become aroused more easily and orgasm more quickly. Another omnipresent myth is that women can orgasm easily from intercourse.  Part of why these myths persist is because male and female orgasms are caused by such different things. For men, vaginal penetration can be as effective as manual stimulation in creating an orgasm.  For women, clitoral stimulation is generally what causes an orgasm. Though many women enjoy vaginal penetration, only 30 percent can orgasm from it. The other 70 percent need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and vibrators make clitoral stimulation much easier for both partners.

Part of why these myths are hard to dispel is because with this knowledge, the female orgasm becomes very removed from intercourse and from procreation.  Though it is been like this from the beginning of time, hopefully with education things may begin to shift.

I’ve Been Converted

At the Medical Center I recently saw a patient who had rarely used vibrators. She came to see us to try to improve her orgasms, which had become weaker and taking her longer to achieve.  We often see this in women as they age; sometimes it is a shift in hormones, which we can address, and sometimes a woman just needs more intense stimulation. This particular woman had never had any difficulty having orgasms before, so understandably she was distraught.  We have several treatments for this issue, one of which is a vibrator.

If we feel a vibrator is needed, we generally select a few vibrators we think would best suit the patient and allow them to try them while in our office. We have many types to choose from:  small, large, internal and external, for individual use and some for use with a partner. I chose a few and set her up in the exam room. Women generally try a few and then turn on a light in the exam room to let us know when they are done.

I will never forget her face when I came back to get her.

She shook my hand repeatedly and kept saying, “Thank you!”.  I have certainly heard this from women who have never had orgasms before and suddenly have one with a strong vibrator, but this was something different. And what was different was that she said, ” I have been converted!”. She said that she had tried one or two vibrators in her life, but she had never really been into using one. But there were several she tried with us that were both fun and made her feel even better!

The great thing about one’s sexuality is that it is constantly changing. As we age our bodies change. Our desire, fantasies and lives change so it makes perfect sense that what might have turned you on at one point doesn’t anymore. It  is great to offer women new and different ways to experience pleasure, even ways that they had tried previously and never enjoyed. Be open and try new things…you never know what you might find.

The Sqweel

The sqweel is described as “a wheel of silicone tongues that lap at your clitoris and labia to simulate oral sex”. It was designed during a vibrator contest by the British company Love Honey and it won.  Many users feel it  simulates oral sex which as we all know is quite a feat.  The sqweel is battery operated, and has three speeds.  It also comes with 3 inserts: the tingle, the wave and the pearl.

The criticism is that one really needs to use lube to feel the full effect. However, many users have told me that with lube it is excellent. It is important to use a water-based lubricant because the sqweel is made of silicone and if one uses a silicone based lube with a silicone toy it can disintegrate.  It is also a fairly complex cleaning procedure. In fact, the creators of the sqweel, Love Honey, have a little video to demonstrate how it should be done.

The sqweel is not cheap. The first insert plus case is $42.50. Each additional wheel is $12.64.  My team of vibrator users felt that it was worth the cost, as they felt the sensation was different than other vibrators. If you are someone who requires a lot of stimulation this will probably not work but if you do not it should be a good experience…let me know what you think!

The Tongue Joy

I recently saw a patient at the Center who desperately wanted to have orgasms from oral sex. She explained that her husband was a great lover but she can’t seem to have orgasms in that way with him. She said that they generally use a vibrator when they are together, so I thought a vibrator that goes on the tongue might be the perfect thing for them.

The one I recommended is called the Tongue Joy.  It  is a chrome-plated, battery operated micro massager. The Tongue Joy can be worn on the tongue or fingers.  The small chrome vibrator is the size of a large pill. You use it by attaching it to the tongue or a finger with different sized hypoallergenic silicone bands.  There are colorful textured silicone sleeves which add variety and comfort and there is even a barbell accessory for those with pierced tongues.

This vibrator is small, versatile and can be used with a hand or mouth. It is fairly strong but for those women who need a stronger vibrator you can also order that battery pack which gives added strength.  This vibrator is a fun new way to explore oral sex.

Couples Vibrators – And the Winner Is…..

After much exploration of vibrators that work well for couples, I have made my decision on the one I think works the best for assisting women to have an orgasm during intercourse (drum-roll, please).. I recommend the We-Vibe. Though it will not  work for everyone because it is not a strong vibrator, I think it will work for many couples.

 

I like it the best because it is so easy to use. There are no straps or elastic bands that anyone needs to wear,  it provides stimulation for both partners, and it is fairly easy to put it in the right position.

 

It is also  simple to charge. It is easy to clean and it is easy to find. The one drawback some may have with it (aside from its lack of strength) is the price. It sells for around $100.  Many of the others I have rated are significantly less,  but if it improves your sex life it could be invaluable.

Give it a try and let me know what you think!

 

Couples Vibrators – Part 4

My mission is to help women who want to have orgasms from intercourse, which has led me to look at many types of vibrators. The latest of these is the strap-on, consisting of a small vibrator that can be strapped around the thighs and abdomen.  These vibrators are usually in the shape of small bugs, butterflies or aquatic animals and the “nose” or “head” is generally the vibrating part to be placed on the clitoris.

The best of this type of vibrator that can be used during intercourse (it enough to strap on and used with a partner) is called the Mini Butterfly sold by Nasstoys.  It will probably work particularly well if  the woman is on top or if the man is standing.

Most of these strap-on vibrators sit on the clitoris but hang down over the opening of the vagina which would make them impossible to use during intercourse. The best of the strap-on options that can’t be used during intercourse was the Wing Fling by Hustler Toys.  It is larger than the others and the stimulation is stronger.

Both of these options are phthalate-free  and can be easily washed with soap and water.

If the woman generally needs a stronger vibrator with a lot of stimulation, neither of these  is going to work.  However, if she does not need a lot of stimulation this is a viable option and certainly worth a try.

Couples Vibrator-Part 3-The We-Vibe

The We-Vibe is an interesting attempt at hands-free clitoral stimulation during intercourse. It has two parts: One that gets inserted into the vagina, and one that rests on the clitoris. So the man is actually inside the vagina with one part of the vibrator. Depending on their preference, some men may hate this while others will enjoy it if they like stimulation during intercourse.

I generally try to get as much feedback as I can from experienced vibrator users, and there is no consensus. Though it seems like a great idea, many women felt the vibrating aspect is not strong enough. Also, many women feel the vibrator moves around and is difficult to keep in place. I did find some huge fans too, so it is really up to you whether you like it or not.

Every individual’s anatomy is different, and this certainly comes into play when finding the right vibrator for you.

Vibrator Blog Couples Part 2

In the quest for the perfect couple’s vibrator, I have realized there are 3 distinct types. There are vibrators that you or your partner can hold during intercourse, there are vibrators that men can wear and there are vibrators that women can wear. I will review all three, but for this week I wanted to explore vibrators that men wear.

The vibrators men wear generally provide continuous stimulation to the man, which is enjoyable for some men, but not all. If a male partner likes stimulation, I would recommend the Iconic Ring by Jimmy Jane and the couple’s Love Ring by Sinclair. The man wears both of these around his penis and both have aspects that stimulate a woman; however the clitoral stimulation is intermittent. The woman will only feel it when the man is thrusting, so this might not work for everyone.

The real motivation for this mission came from the fact that so many women express a desire to have an orgasm during intercourse. Since most women cannot do this without assistance, I thought I would see what I could find as a way to help out.

Feel free to give it a try and let me know how what works for you.

I will be writing about vibrators that women can wear next week.

Vibrators for Couples-Part One

Many women need added to stimulation during intercourse to have an orgasm. I highly suggest that they include a vibrator in order to make the experience more satisfying.   You or your partner can easily hold a small bullet shaped one between you or either one of you can use a larger massage type vibrator.

The three I recommend for holding manually are:  the Pink Ribbon, The Bon Bon, which is also waterproof or the Ideal. The first two are small and can easily be placed between you in almost any position. The Ideal is larger and can be best accommodated in positions when you are not lying directly on top of one another.

Another option is for the male to wear a vibrator and I will go into the best options for that kind of vibrator next week. Have fun!