In my job at The Center I often see women with low desire. There are many factors that may contribute to low desire: birth control pills, hormones, pain, relationship issues and sometimes stress. However on rare occasions it might just be a need to add a little variety and mix things up a bit and possibly recommit to your sexual relationship. Most couples today are managing many things: careers, children, exhaustion and numerous other every day stressors. I often spend time exploring with each individual or couple how to reprioritize their sexual relationship. Aside from the typical date night there are other things couples can do. The first step is to create a safe space to explore fantasies or ideas about what might be fun, or add a little newness or excitement to your relationship.
I recently discovered massage candles. They are candles that create self-cooling wax that can be used as a massage oil. I tried three brands and will recommend two. The high end one is made by Jimmy Jane. They come in two sizes and at least eight different fragrances. They retail between $29.00 and $65.00. Though these are expensive and the fragrances are intense, the quality of the massage oil is excellent. It slides onto the skin smoothly and lasts for a long time. The second one I recommend is made by Kama sutra. These also come in two sizes and they retail for between $6.95 and $16.95. It comes in four fragrances and I would say it also does the job. The quality of the oil is not as luxurious but I think it is a great second choice.
Not that I think one should usually quote Paris Hilton, but in this instance she came to mind because both literally and figuratively when speaking of the candles, because “they’re hot”.